They Were Cheesy As Hell, But These 1980s Horror Movies Were Surprisingly Well-Written Too

The 1980s are very well known for their big hair, big shoulder pads, and high camp horror output. While older films have shown that there is a lot a filmmaker can do to build suspense if they have the right lighting and music, the advancement of technology meant a bigger reliance on visual effects. The films of this neon-colored decade were packed with “high-tech” effects which might feel dated now, but at the time were groundbreaking. Horror utilized them to the max, with many films focusing more on the way they looked and not necessarily so much on the plot.

But, in a sea of cheesy movies, some have managed to stand out with some clever concepts hidden beneath a lot of hairspray. There were some scripts that elicited thoughts that stayed with viewers long after the film finished, and also lines that were so memorable they still get quoted until this day. After all, sometimes, it’s the cheesy films that reach cult status because they make people watch them again and again.

10

Halloween III: Season Of The Witch (1982)

Written By Tommy Lee Wallace, John Carpenter, & Nigel Kneale

It was a bold move to break away from the original concept, and make a Halloween film with no Michael Myers or Laurie Strode. But, it had always been John Carpenter’s vision to make it an anthology, with each installment dealing with a different supernatural or Halloween-themed being. The success of the original film and the need for more of the same was the only reason Carpenter did not move towards that particular plan with the first sequel. Considering the quality of this third part of the franchise, it seems that it was probably a good thing.

Deviating from all that went on in Haddonfield, Halloween III amps up the cheese factor, with a very different concept. Mixing Celtic mythology with science fiction was quite an innovative idea, and the commentary on consumerism had some merit as well. Even the thought of mind-controlling the population with capitalism was very forward-thinking, especially in a high-spending decade like the ’80s. The ending is also pretty terrifying, with a helpless Dr. Challis screaming helplessly at the carnage that was about to be unleashed. And, the song will genuinely stay with viewers for the rest of their days.

9

The Stuff (1985)

Written By Larry Cohen

Though it may sound like a counterfeit version of The Substance, it’s actually a scathing satire of consumerism disguised as a cheesy horror. The premise of a killer dessert that eats people from the inside touches upon how people often blindly follow trends despite them stripping them from their individuality, and in this case, their lives. The masses continue to consume this irresistible foodstuff despite all the harm it causes. This sort of self-awareness is unexpected in what could just be seen as a simple monster movie.

One of the most impactful lines spoken in the film is “Are you eating it… or is it eating you?“, and it actually does give viewers a lot of food for thought. The way that The Stuff is fed to the public isn’t even through force, but rather clever manipulation by the media. Influencers were not necessarily established the way they are known now, but it’s fair to say the public was “influenced” to keep buying. It’s a dark premise at the core that makes the film scarier than the special ’80s effects could ever be.

8

Maniac Cop (1988)

Written By Larry Cohen

The title of Maniac Cop does a good job of conveying exactly what can be expected. A murderous police officer goes on a murderous spree, killing both innocent civilians and criminals alike. A fusion of a cop thriller and slasher movie was a genuinely clever idea, and it allowed to comment on how unchecked power can lead to corruption and dire consequences. It addresses the fears of questioning authority, and how those who are meant to serve and protect can also be the ones to be afraid of.

Crime was a hot topic in America at the time, so while, on the surface, it may have seemed like just another bloody horror, it actually tackled a subject that needed to be discussed. But, it’s also important to remember that it does have many classic cheesy tropes which make it a cult B-movie. And, with lines like “You have the right to remain silent… forever”, it’s no wonder why that is.

7

Brain Damage (1988)

Written By Frank Henenlotter

With a rather witty pun in the title itself, the premise of the film is a classic body horror trope, with a parasite that feasts on people’s brains. But, its use of a human vessel to source the goods is where the metaphor actually lies. Reminiscent of a drug addict’s need for a fix, Brian commits atrocities in order to get another hit. The parasitic slug is actually a sentient and very smooth-talking protagonist in the film, which may seem like a ridiculous thing to say, and yet it is very true.

Brian’s deterioration in real life is mirrored in some of his drug-induced hallucinations that he chases so fervently. His relationships crumble, and the film does not shy away from showing this side of the story. While there is still plenty of gore and blood, it’s a sad story of a person who becomes dependent on a substance that brings with it a lot of death and destruction. The line, “The juice is the best thing in the world, Brian. And you’ll do anything to get it” sums up the underlying sentiment perfectly.

6

Pumpkinhead (1988)

Written By Ed Justin, Mark Patrick Carducci, & Stan Winston

It may seem bizarre for a film called Pumpkinhead to be an allegory about grief and revenge, and yet it is. A distraught father makes a pact with dark forces to avenge the death of his son, but, at a price. One of the standout lines of the film is “For each of man’s evils, a special demon exists”, which conveys the message of the movie to a tee. Human nature, and the darkness that lives inside each person, can be summoned if the circumstances align.

Having a protagonist who is flawed and layered, but also sympathetic did not necessarily always occur in 1980s horror, so to have one with such a rich backstory was also a reflection on the quality of the writing. The mythic tones also show a lot of promise. Having a creepy witch and a larger-than-life demon in a scary movie tends to allow for some great frights, and there are quite a few of those in this one.

5

TerrorVision (1986)

Written By Ted Nicolaou

Another film that was written and directed by the same person, this horror comedy does the clever thing of not taking itself too seriously. An alien monster taking over satellite dishes is a funny concept, and the film fully leans into the ridiculousness of the situation. While the monster is quite grotesque and produced in true ’80s style. Horror seemed to be the perfect conduit for hidden meaning, and TerrorVision focuses on the reliance on television and consumerism.

That meta-message might actually hit quite close to home when the audience realizes that by watching the film, it too is part of the problem. While the effects can only be described as “gooey”, the message has more substance to it. “The creature’s energy is derived from crude Earth television transmissions,” is a quote that shows just how responsible the viewers themselves are.

4

Re-Animator (1985)

Written By H.P. Lovecraft, Dennis Paoli, & William Norris

Jumping between gory horror and laugh-out-loud comedy, this cheesy 1980s horror has a lot of surprising depth to it. The situations are absurd, but the wit and dry humor power it through all the ridiculous aspects of the film. The main character has quite a lot of layers to him and is very well-written. He is not only a “mad scientist”, which is a trope that is very popular within the genre, but his motives and ambition are explored on a deeper level. He fights his own arrogance as he falls deeper down the rabbit hole.

The film itself is also structured in a well-thought-out way. Each scene serves a purpose with not much filler to speak of. While there may be exploding eyeballs and rotting flesh, but they all serve the story that is being told. It challenges the hubris that is often associated with science, and shows that it can push certain aspects of morality to its limits. Having a gory horror introduce so much doubt and skepticism about the ethics within the medical community is an unexpected twist.

3

Night Of The Creeps (1986)

Written By Fred Dekker

Sometimes less might be more, but it’s important to consider that more is definitely more. Mixing a range of tropes all in one movie feels like a love-letter to the genre itself. There are the classic teen aspects of the film where a bunch of hormonal young people take on deadly forces all on their own. There is also an alien aspect that then leads to a focus on zombies. All these genres are mixed in a witty way, making it feel organic and considered.

The writing also manages to encapsulate the reliance on sarcasm that was so prevalent in the 1980s. The detective’s deadpan delivery of the line: “Thrill me” serves as a classic example of this phenomenon, and manages to be funny and iconic in equal measure. The film is also able to tap into some strong emotions, focusing on the core group of friends and their relationships. It’s always better to care about the characters who are having a hard time with alien slugs and murderous zombies.

2

The Blob (1988)

Written By Theodore Simonson, Kay Linaker, & Irvine H. Millgate

This film fits comfortably into the cheesy horror movie box, but it also manages to subvert expectations from the start. Who the audience thinks will be the main protagonist gets killed off quite early, and it’s the underestimated character who emerges as the hero of the story. It challenged the gender norms of the time in a smart and unexpected way. Though a reimagining of the 1950s original, this version saw the titular Blob not as a random alien life force, but rather a government-invented entity.

This leaned into the Cold War paranoia that was rampant at the time, with people fearing covert government tactics and secret weapons. The antagonist of the story, then, is not only the all-consuming pink mass but the officials who try and cover up their mistake. It’s that political undertone that makes it feel scarier and grounds the film in reality. The stakes are also much higher, with the deaths hitting much harder and the violence and gore amped-up to more than an ’80s B-movie would normally feature.

1

Hellraiser (1987)

Written By Clive Barker

It may sometimes be easy to forget that behind the brilliance of the Cenobites, and Pinhead in particular, this film is packed with layers upon layers of cheese. Many of the scenes that are intended to be scary might feel slightly camp, especially with the booming synth soundtrack, but the imagery still leaves a lasting impression. The then “groundbreaking” effects make the transformations feel a bit silly, and some of the sexual content does feel gratuitous. That being said, there is a philosophical undercurrent that runs throughout.

The line between pleasure and pain is blurred, and the very nature of humanity gets questioned many times. Most of the central characters are deeply flawed, and the “final girl” only emerges as a more prominent character later in the film. This is quite an innovative approach to the rules that seemed to dominate horror in that decade. The film also manages to build a fascinating world which viewers wanted to revisit, and it does so through its carefully thought-out writing throughout.